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New Years Resolutions - What does it take to achive them?

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Statistics say that by January 15th 95% of the people fell off their New Year Resolution path.

Have you ever wondered why that is? Have you thought about why people set New Years Resolutions at all? Why then and not in July?

People make New Year Resolutions because they want a fresh start, a victory, lasting results.

Resolution means resolving something, a challenge for example. When you resolve something, that's how it is going to be from now. You cut off all the possibilities other than the ones you are committed to.

What people are wanting to achieve with their New Year Resolutions is progress with lasting results, not just change. Progress (not stuff) brings happiness to your life. When there is regular, measurable progress, you feel alive, you expand in that area in your life and you grow. Progress is not the same as change. Change is inevitable and automatic, while progress is a controlled process. A New Year Resolutions without a lasting progress is just a wish list!

What does it take to achieve lasting progress in your life?

  1. You need a vision of what you truly want to be or create. This vision must be inspiring, exciting and compelling enough to pull you into progress. There are two types of motivations: a push (requires willpower) and a pull (something desired, attractive and desired). Following through comes down to our emotional intensity and focus.
  2. Strong enough reasons to push through the challenges and not let fear derail you. The reasons come first and answers come second.
  3. You must review and feel your vision and reasons every day. There is a part of the brain called Reticular Activating System (RAS), which determines what you notice in your life. When you set a goal, you get a clear enough vision, you have strong enough reasons and you review it enough, it becomes a part of you. As a result, your brain says that anything you need to know to get to this goal you gotta notice. And you will!

So what do most people do when they set New Year Resolutions?

  1. they come up with something they kinda want
  2. do not have strong enough reasons
  3. they do not review it after

If you want lasting progress/change you must raise your standards. Lasting change is different than a goal. You don't always get your goal but you get your standards. Your standards are your "musts". Everyone gets their "musts" met, not their "shoulds" or "wants" ."Musts" become our reality and achieving them does not require willpower. We all have a long "shoulds" list. When you make a "must" you attach your self to it and it becomes part of your identity.

Human being 100% follow through on whom they believe they are. The strongest force in the human personality is the need to stay consistent with who we believe we are.

Question: When did you define yourself on what you can or cannot do? Was it 20-30 years ago or when you were a teenager or a young adult?

Most people set their standards and beliefs a long time ago, often at a very young age and it limits and controls us. It becomes our limitation and it defines our your identity. Most people have no clue whom they really are. People they stick to their story even if it limits them.

Joy comes when you're spontaneous when you are being yourself when your true self comes out.

For example, your physical body is the reflection of your standards, not your goals and desires.

"Wants and shoulds" do not get met consistently, standards do. You do not have to change your identity, you just have to expand it. Identify yourself with the new way and own it!

The best way to raise your standards is with rituals. Rituals are consistent actions every day. Rituals define you. For example, fit and healthy people have different rituals than unhealthy people.

Successes and failures are not giant events, they do not that show up overnight. They are series of steps you missed along the way. Susseful people get rewarded in public for what they have been practicing for years in private.

In 2018 I challenge you to demand more from yourself, step up and raise your standards! DO not compete with others, but with yourself. It is not what we get hat makes us happier, it's who we become and what we can then give to others as a result!

Clarity Exercise:

  1. Pick an area in your life you would like to change.
  2. Write it down how that specific are looks like now in your life.
  3. Writ down what rituals you have that put you here.
  4. Write down what you want to achieve, be specific with a vision, find a strong enough reason for it and review it often
  5. Write down what rituals you need to reach your desired change. Start with 1-3 new steps. This will give you momentum. Willpower does not last, but rituals last a lifetime.

Remember that there are two types of pain:

  1. The pain of discipline, which weighs ounces
  2. The pain of regrets, which weighs tons

Feel free to check out my free resources here: https://www.wellnessforthought.com/free-resources/ 

Happy New Year!